This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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