Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
