Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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