That's intense
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
