i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
