You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
