when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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