She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
