Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
