I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
