I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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