i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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