you turned your livingroom into a bong?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
