I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
