you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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