i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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