and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
