We're like a lot better than the average bears
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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