Your dad touched me again.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
