Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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