TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
