I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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