He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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