my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
