I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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