are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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