We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize