dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize