I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
