drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
