Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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