if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
