I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
