just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
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