HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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