I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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