I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize