you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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