I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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