Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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