he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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