i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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