time to smoke my breakfast
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize