problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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