I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
