do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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