she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
