The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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