would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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