May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i've created a new STD.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize