Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
