I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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