Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
