Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
