So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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