cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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