ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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