I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
