i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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