Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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