Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
