maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
