This girl is more easily done than said...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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