You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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