Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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