If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
