would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
are you so shy because you have an std?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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