Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
