That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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