Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
