This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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