i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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