Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
