I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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